Something worth living for
by Lady Strallan
Summary: Warning there is attempted suicide and mention of a Character death. Edith thinks she has lost everything.
1. Chapter 1

__A big thank you to Baron Munchausen for taking the time to look over this.__

_** Something**** worth living for**_

Edith walked along the beach not caring about the wind or the rain.

She could not believe how much her life had changed in such a short amount of time.

Just a few months ago she was a happily married woman with a son.

After she was left at the altar she had given up hope of ever having a family and ever being truly happy.

Only to have her happiness snatched away. First Michael was killed in what the police called a botched robbery but what she suspected was to do with a story he was working on.

Then her sweet beautiful boy, her one reason for living, suddenly caught a fever and died.

As she felt the sea wash over her ankles she had an idea of how to end all this pain and misery. She turned and began to walk into the sea. Just as the sea was about to swallow her she felt someone grab her wrist and pull her back towards the beach; she tried to struggle but her grief had left her with hardly any energy.

As they got to the beach she was placed on to her back and for the first time she saw the face of the man who had denied her peace. At first she thought she was hallucinating but after a second she realised that the piercing blue eyes that were full of fear and shock belonged to none other than Sir Anthony Strallan.

For what seemed like a lifetime they both just stared at each other, both of them not knowing what to say or do.

A rumble of thunder brought them both back to reality. Anthony went to help Edith up only for Edith to slap him round the face and move back towards the sea.

Anthony wasn't sure if the slap was for the jilting or for pulling her from the sea. All he knew was that he had to hold on to her. He could not let her go this time. He knew if he let her slip through his fingers it would be the last he ever saw of her.

Edith's legs gave way from under her; the events of the last few months had finally drained her of any energy she had left.

She just laid in the sand letting unconsciousness take her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A big thank you to Baron Munchausen for taking the time to look over this**.

Edith slowly opened her eyes. She turned expecting to see Michael lying next to her; then she realised that the cot was missing and she did not recognise the room she was in.

Then it all came flooding back, the death of her husband and child and also Sir Anthony.

She took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in her throat. Just as she was going to try to get out of bed so she could find her clothes, the door to her room opened and in walked an old woman followed by the village doctor.

Seeing that Edith was awake the woman rushed over to her and tucked her back into bed.

"Now, now, dear don't try to get up just yet. You're still too weak. Let the doctor take a look at you and I will bring up some soup." Then she rushed out of the room before Edith could utter a word of protest.

As the doctor began to examine her she asked him where she was.

"You're at the old manor house, the home of Sir Anthony. He was the one who found you.

He did not know where you were staying so he brought you back here, I must say Lady Edith you gave us all quite a scare but the good news is that you should make a full recovery as long as you follow my orders about resting."

Then the doctor paused for a second before continuing. "Also did you know you are pregnant?"

Edith just looked at the doctor in shock. "No I did not" she whispered.

The realisation that she had nearly killed her unborn child overwhelmed her and she burst into tears.

Not knowing the full story the doctor tried to comfort her. "The child should be fine as long as you get plenty of rest and keep warm."

The old woman walked into the room. Seeing the state Edith was in she put the tray down and went over to Edith and took her hand.

"Now, now, what's all this about? I see Doctor Sims' bedside manner has still not improved. Let's get some hot soup inside you and I bet you'll be feeling better in no time."

The doctor just rolled his eyes at the remark "I will see myself out and I'll be back tomorrow to check on you."

Remembering where she was Edith began to protest. "I really must be going I could not put Sir Anthony to any more trouble."

Hearing this the old woman just laughed. "Trust me, you will not be putting him to any trouble staying in a spare room. Besides I'm the one who does most of the work round here and you are most certainly not in my way. Now, you can forget any ideas about getting out of bed for the next few days and be a good girl and eat this" she said placing the tray on Edith's lap then showing the doctor out of the room.

Edith did not really feel like eating but knowing she was with child, she forced herself to eat.

As she ate, her thoughts turned to the future. Michael had left her well provided for. As well as some shares and money in the bank, she now owned a house in London and a small cottage beside the sea, both of which her family would turn their noses up at but she found them both homely and would not swap either of them for the biggest house in Mayfair.

She also had invested some of the money she earned from writing children's books and detective novels.

_It's strange _she thought to herself _a few days ago I felt I did not have a future but now I have something worth living for._

She put the soup to one side and put her hand on her stomach as she absent-mindedly rubbed her stomach. Her thoughts turned to Michael; not for one moment did she regret meeting that man. He gave her hope for the future when all she saw for herself was a lonely life being the spinster aunt at Downton relying on the charity of her family for a place to sleep while all the time either receiving looks of pity or disappointment.

He gave her the confidence to find a job, and a new place to live and build a new life.

She could not help but let a sob escape her, as she thought about her unborn child never knowing his or her father and all the things that they would never do together and for the brother her child would never know.

She wondered if this child would have big brown eyes and a smile that could light up a room. Hearing Edward laugh soon became her favourite sound in the whole world and she tried to make him laugh as much as possible much to the amusement of the small staff they kept.

Despite the doctor's words, she was afraid that her actions would cause her to lose the child or the child would be born healthy but get sick and die like her boy Edward.

Mrs Smith walked back into the room and found Edith curled up on the bed sobbing her heart out.

She went over and put her arm round her. "Now, now, I know you've been through a lot but this isn't going to do you or the baby any good."

Edith looked up at her in shock. "How did you know I was pregnant?"

Looking a bit guilty Mrs Smith replied "I overheard the doctor when I was coming up the stairs but don't worry I will not tell anyone. I'm too busy looking after that daddy longs legs downstairs".

Edith tried and failed to repress a smile at the remark.

She could never imagine a servant talking about their employer in that way to someone of her class.

"Now, I see you have not finished your soup: we can't have you going hungry." Then Mrs Smith placed the tray back on Edith's lap and gave her a look that said she would not take any arguments on the matter of her finishing her soup.

Edith felt like a girl again, back in the nursery with the nanny watching her making sure she ate her vegetables before she was allowed pudding.

As soon as the last drop of soup was gone Mrs Smith whisked the tray off her lap and tucked Edith into bed. Edith found that she had no energy to protest. Instead she found herself drifting off to sleep.

**I will try and end the next chapter with Edith awake.**


	3. Chapter 3

Just as Mrs Smith entered the kitchen she heard the bell ring in the study. She passed the empty bowl to Daisy, her daughter and maid of all work and went to see what her employer wanted although she already had a good idea.

As she entered the room Sir Anthony stopped looking at the paperwork he had been pretending to be doing and gave her that nervous crooked smile of his.

"Ah, Mrs Smith. The doctor has informed me that Lady Edith requires a few days of bed rest before she can leave. I assume you have made sure she has, and will continue to have, everything she needs to make her stay as comfortable as possible?"

"Of course, Sir. She has finished a bowl of soup and now she is resting. Would you like me to let you know when she awakes so you can go up and see her, Sir?"

Anthony shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I think it will be best if I stay out of Lady Edith's way. I know you know of our history together."

Mrs Smith just rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to go to him and box his ears.

"How are you feeling, Sir? Hope you are not coming down with a chill? It's just people in the village were wondering how you managed to get so wet by just rescuing Lady Edith from the beach? Is there anything I need to look out for regarding Lady Edith's health?" Mrs Smith replied.

"Only the things the doctor has told you to look out for, and as for my state that day may I remind you it was raining and I had left the house without an umbrella?"

Before Mrs Smith had a chance to say anything else he dismissed her from the room and let his thoughts drift back to the day he found Edith on the beach.

He had heard of a young widow with a baby who had just moved into a cottage just outside the village. He had also heard of the poor baby's death but he had no idea that the poor woman was Edith until he saw her walking along the beach that day.

His heart broke for her when he realised what heart ache his sweet one had gone though. He wanted to go to her and offer what little comfort he could but he was afraid he would be the last person she wanted to see so he just stood back watching her from a distance not caring that he too was being soaked to the bone by the rain.

His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw her walk into the sea. Before he even realised what he was doing he had run over to her and pulled her back towards the beach.

He remembered just standing there in shock not knowing what to do or say next until she slapped him and tried to go back out to sea. He remembered hanging onto her for all his life was worth. If she had not fainted he knew he would have probably drowned with her.

After she had fainted he lifted her over his shoulder with strength he thought he had long ago lost and not knowing what else to do he carried her home telling Mrs Smith that he had found her passed out on the beach.

The last thing Anthony wanted was for the truth about how he found Edith to come out, he was afraid that she would be placed in a mental hospital.

The thought of his sweet one being locked away forever in one of those places filled him with dread and he swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure she would remain free, and in time he hoped she would find the strength to move on from her loss and rebuild her life.

But he now realised that if people in the village were gossiping he would have to talk to Lady Edith to make sure their stories matched.

While he was thinking of the best way to approach her there was a knock at the door.

Seeing that it was nearly tea time he told Daisy to come in and he began to clear a space on his desk so she could place the tea tray down.

However as the door opened instead of seeing a young maid with a tea tray there stood Lady Edith.


End file.
